Desperate NeoCon Turns to Porn

What else could he do? As former editorial page editor of the Washington Times, a Visiting Senior Fellow in National Security Communications at the Heritage Foundation, Executive Vice President at the Washington Edelman public relations firm, co-host of KCRW's Left, Right & Center, and frequent contributor on MSNBC, it was Tony Blankley's mission to provide talking points against Obama on "the morning after" that glorious speech in Berlin.

So there he was last Friday, on NPR -- where the audience is often more informed than most.

Worse yet, he was on The Diane Rehm Show -- which earned the honor of being the only other public broadcast, along with Now with Bill Moyers, to so threaten the Bush administration that Rove's buddy Kenneth Tomlinson, Chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, authorized a secret investigation into their liberal bias.

Sitting next to Blankley was David Corn, Washington Bureau Chief for Mother Jones Magazine, co-author with Michael Isikoff of Hubris: The Inside Story of Spin, Scandal, and the Selling of the Iraq War. Worse again, Corn is also the author of the 2003 book daringly titled The Lies of George W. Bush, now and forever more a must-read for those who want to understand what the hell happened.

On Blankley's other side was Jeanne Cummings from Politico, with whom he shares an awkward history. In 1997, she won a National Press Club Award for her groundbreaking coverage in the Atlanta Journal and Constitution of Newt Gingrich, the lobbyists and think tanks that backed him, and the House Ethics Committee investigations that culminated in his downfall. For the seven years leading up to the January 1997 reprimand and $300,000 fine by the Committee, it was Tony Blankley, as Gingrich's Press Secretary, putting the spin on his deeds, until it was clearly time to jump ship.

Blankley was surrounded -- by intelligent, attentive people -- who had already proven they were on to his bull. The only saving grace for him was that at least Diane was out of town, and Susan Page from USA Today, sitting in for her, was far less likely to confront him. Ironically, it was her innocence that pointed out his smut. HA HA HA HA. But I digress. . .

So, what could he possibly get away with saying?

After a brief, unavoidable admission that McCain was fortunate that Obama drew so much media attention and that McCain didn't get more coverage than he did that week, with his golfing with Old Man Bush and overheated rhetoric against Obama, it was time for Blankley to do his duty for the NeoCons.

Lacking legitimate logic, he aimed low, shifting into a slimy salacious suggestion: "On the other hand, I'm not convinced that the fellatic coverage that the media is giving Obama will in the long term. . ."

Susan Page interrupted. "I don't know what that word means."

Uh-oh. How did that happen! Nobody ever says that!! Oh, no! A light was shining on the naughty word!

"Oh, based on the word 'fellacio'. I believe we used to talk about the media giving wet kisses to... media," he stumbled. "It's got worse with Obama."

[NOTE THE PRISSY MISPRONUNCIATION OF THE WORD FELLATIO (WordPerfect/Oxford University Press Dictionary: noun, oral stimulation of a man's penis, from the Latin fellare "to suck") -- so condescending and elitist, from a man who just accused the press of having a whore-ish blowjob relationship with Senator Barack Obama].

David Corn tweaked "Oooh."

Jeanne Cummings stuttered but quickly gained her composure: "I, I, I'm going to stand up for my industry here."

And soon after a caller got through and nailed Blankley for his crude insults, forcing Blankley to apologize.

But those of us who heard, got it. The conservative pundits are stuck when it comes to Obama, and the only thing they know how to do at those times is play dirty.

And when those white male pundits are threatened by an intelligent black man, they apparently fall into to old jealousies and fears, revealing their true impotent selves.

I'm reminded of another black man who had earned a position of leadership in a world usually run by whites: Sheriff Bart (played by Cleavon Little) in Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles. Introducing himself to the townspeople of Rock Ridge, he stands before them and reaches into his pants, "Excuse me while I whip this out" -- And the crowd screams and pretends to look away, as he simply retrieves the documentation showing his new assignment as their Sheriff from his pocket.

Oh, such simple people we are.

So, Mr. Blankley, let us put it this way -- in the context you have chosen -- the language you understand:

Senator Barack Obama IS bigger, stronger, firmer, more long-lasting, and yes, a lot more fun, and even worth bragging about.

Oh, and I'm simply talking about his policies. . .

So, move over. There are a lot of us -- both here in the U.S. and, yes, across the world -- who are quite ready for this kind of good time for all.