Palin: My, Wasn't She a Fast Talker

A theory on the Handler's solution. . .

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With Sarah Palin's other recent appearances in mind, my instant reaction to her first response to a question at the Vice Presidential Debate was:

They've put her on SPEED!

Ritalin, that is. Adderall. Methylphenidate.

(Okay now, for those who remember the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies, reread from "Ritalin" on like "Oil, that is. Black Gold. Texas Tea." Actually, given her drive to drill in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, either lyrics work for Sarah Palin. But I digress...)

Come on. Think about it. Have you ever seen her zoom through her talking points like that? Without notes, without a teleprompter, and without enough pauses for wires to be effective?

And let's review: McCain campaign advisor Steve Schmidt is from the Bush administration (he worked closely with both Rove and Cheney),Bush has shown all the signs of a man on antidepressants, with occasional variations in his twitches appearing to indicate shifts in his medication strengths or combinations. and Mr.

Her handlers must have been desperate -- so needing to yell at her and so aware of what it would mean if she bolted and told the world -- and she just might do that if they pushed too hard...

She certainly had the will and ambition to do the lying, twisting, and sarcastic attacks they needed her to do...

But it was those gaping pauses when her mind hadn't yet found the way to bulldoze the question and move on to her talking points that was the problem.

The media can easily forgive blabbering and illogic and untruths and gibberish. Both the audience and the professionals are used to politicians not making sense.

Given the credibility gap when politicians have to say what is necessary to sell themselves to a majority of voters (to say nothing of the lies everyone knows they must tell to stay true to the deals they've made with big-money donors) . . .

And given the way that the corporate mainstream media, so in debt to the Bush administration, has facilitated the dumbing down of America by conditioning its audience to respond to the quick-and-shiny, and shift focus willingly-- on command--when faced with nuance, complications, hard truths, and deeper examining. . .

And given the hordes of political pundits, some more bought than others: some interested in discovering what may be behind the words that are said and what that will actually look like in that politician's policies, while others are clearly there to emphasize partisan talking points regardless of what was said, there to claim victory above and beyond logic. . .

THE MAJORITY OF THE AUDIENCE IS BARELY LISTENING TO THE WORDS.

But they do notice gaps. Fumbling for words. Big pauses. Uhhhhhhhhhh.

And not having an answer. Any answer, dammit! Gobbledygook, for God's sake! Something!!!

Name ANY newspaper or magazine! Can't you think of one dang title? Time? The Anchorage Daily News? Hell, what about Sports Afield! The Oil & Gas Journal!!!!

Sorry boss, but when asked by Katie Couric what newspapers and magazines she used to read "to stay informed and to understand the world", she could not name one.

"I've read most of them. . ." Specifically? "Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years." Name a few? "I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news."

Nope, can't let that happen again, at least not in the debate. Gotta spew out paragraphs full of bla-bla and smile pretty all the while, and never--NO NOT EVER--get caught looking like you can't come up with something--SOMETHING to regurgitate oops--I mean "say".

"Quick!" barked the Handler to his Igor. "Call PHARMA (actually PhRMA, but that's hard to say) and see what'll do the job best! Noooowwwwww!"

As Igor pulled out his Blackberry, the Handler pulled his own bottle of samples out of his pocket and popped two--no, make that three. He was glad there was someone he could still get at--and something he could swallow that would hold him back from yelling at (taking a deep breath) that woman.

Besides, he thought, the speed's right up her alley. Keeps her bikini-worthy. Keeps the men attracted. And Cindy's just gonna have to get used to it.

Know Bush Fact #28

Based on the belief that the truth shall set you free:


In June 2002, the Bush administration, through the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office on Women’s Health (OWH), and the Advertising Council teamed up for a National Breastfeeding Awareness Campaign to encourage first-time mothers to breastfeed exclusively for six months, with PSAs set to air in December 2003.

Unfortunately, the ads, which listed well-researched numbers on increased risk for non-breastfed babies of obesity, diabetes, ear infections, leukemia, diarrhea, asthma and pneumonia, were inadvertently posted on the Ad Council website in November 2003.

That’s when the pharmaceutical companies stepped in.

It turns out that baby formulas such as Similac, Isomil, and Enfamil are produced by pharmaceutical companies, Abbott Laboraties and Bristol Myers Squibb, two of the most powerful members of the Pharmaceutical Research & Manufacturers of America (PhRMA), which contributed nearly $11.2 million (87% of their party donations) to the Republican national committees in the 2000 and 2002 election cycles.

First the pharmaceuticals get to make money on the baby formulas; then they profit for the rest of the person’s life as the provider of medicines and other health care products needed to handle the acknowledged health problems shown in the PSA from choosing their formula products over breastfeeding.

Washington lobbyist Clayton Yeutter, the Secretary of Agriculture for Bush I (the father) and former Republican Party Chairman, with a few lobbyist cohorts, immediately met with Bush-appointee Secretary Tommy Thompson. They conveyed their clients’ objections to the "grossly misleading visuals" in the ad campaign and the questionable scientific validity of claims of a higher incidence of diseases in babies who are not breast-fed.

The lobbyists also contacted the National Institutes of Health, National WIC Association, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), and members of Congress responsible for health care policy and WIC reauthorization, reviewing the formula industry objections.

The AAP, whose recent book on breastfeeding became an instant best-seller when Abbott Laboratories bought 600,000 copies, fell into line. AAP President Carden Johnston wrote to Secretary Thompson (without consulting Dr. Lawrence Gartner, Chair of the AAP Section on Breastfeeding), suddenly concerned for the ad campaign’s emphasis on not breastfeeding and unvalidated scientific information.

Tommy Thompson, who had to sell his sizeable portfolio of stock in drugmakers Merck and Abbott Laboratories once he was confirmed as Health and Human Services Secretary, pulled the ad until it could be watered down to suit the needs of the pharmaceuticals – to show a heart-warming suggestion to breastfeed as a lifestyle choice, not an urgent need with major consequences. References to diabetes and leukemia were cut, as well as all specific risk numbers.

Tommy Thompson turned down meeting requests from breastfeeding advocates.

To verify/research, Google: Breastfeeding +Ad Council